sunflower

Church newsletter Dec 2011

2011-12-22T17:03:00.002+02:00

Dear Family and Friends
Stop, breathe, and take it in.
After coming to a shocking realization that this year is nearly over, how fast the time has gone by and how little I can remember of the past year...
...stop, breathe and take it in has become my new saying.
Time goes by so quickly and life gets so busy that I forget to STOP and really be present in what is happening. To BREATHE , relax and take a moment to observe. To TAKE IN, appreciate and allow God’s handiwork and His presence to change me, even rejuvenate me. To allow people to enrich me.
Christmas has become such a busy, commercialised time, and we tend to forget what it’s all about.
This year why not join me to STOP, BREATHE and TAKE IT IN and remember the gift of life, love and peace God has given us. And to remember to share this with others.
Thank you to everyone that has contributed to the ministry of BMC in every way, big and small. It is greatly appreciated and has made a difference.
May you have a blessed Christmas and an exciting new year!
Love Sonika

Today 14 Sept

2011-09-14T15:41:00.000+02:00

Today I am living in a dream, a daze, something that doesn't exists, in all it's imperfection everything is perfect and yet remains imperfect...

And that's ok! It's merely a mindset that has captured me that I can not escape from and truly wouldn't want to either. It's like an outer body experience where I am inside but yet feels like I'm not in the reality of it....

I guess I can say, this is me relaxed...

My siel

2011-07-08T22:52:00.000+02:00

daar is iets waaraan my siel uiting wil gee, maar ek het niks, niks op papier...
sy wil iets se, sy praat maar ek hoor niks...dis bewolk, dig mis val my toe en ek kan haar nie sien nie..
op tye weet sy self nie wat aan gaan nie, en vra my vrae wat ek nie kan antwoord nie,
Wat nou, waarheen nou, wat se ek vir haar want sy vra vrae en wil antwoorde he wat ek nie het nie, ek het dit nie...
snaaks ek's tog nie verlore nie, eensaam nie, net nie seker oor die toekoms nie, die keuses, die reg en verkeerd...is daar nog so iets soos reg en verkeerd?
hmm jy sal seker nie verstaan nie, vir jou is als so maklik, die antwoord reg daarvoor jou..maak die move se jy, maar die move is scary... tog so opwindend!
wat sal die move aan my verander..miskien alles miskien niks? so maklik om jouself te verloor in als, in my...
die tyd stap aan vinnig maar te stadig...staan net stil vir n oomblik asb.

Jy

2011-03-23T14:03:00.000+02:00

JY is n prag kind, spog kind, kom kyk ons kind.
Jy is n mooi kind, slim kind, gawe kind met sagte hart en speel oë.
Jy is n wyse kind, kreatiewe kind, talent borrel in jou oor.
Jy is n laggende kind, n liefdevolle kind, skerp is jou intelegent.

Jy is nie perfekte kind, maar alles wat jy is,is perfek net so!

So sal die lewe hierdie kind n draai slaan in haar reguit pad.
Tog pak sy dit aan en hou net aan...in alles sal sy volhard!

So weet niemand wat voorlê vir hierdie kind, maar troos jou...sy is in God se hand!

Die Eenvoudige

2011-03-23T13:28:00.000+02:00

Ek verlang na die eenvoudige.
Die gemak van die lewe, vol liefde en vrede. Toe tyd spandeer was saam met mense en nie op selfone nie.

Ek verlang na die dae van visvang saam my pa en my broers terwyl die vrouens klets in die bak van die son, en die water die siel die rus gee waarna hy dors.

Ek verlang na kuier saam my ma en susters by die local koffie winkel of Spur, waar ons praat en lag totdat die trane ons wange afdaal!

Ai, ek verlang na die eenvoudige. Toe kinders nog kon kind wees en nie besige lewens gehad het nie. Toe Sondag nog n rus dag was, wat met die familie spandeer was...toe winkels toe was en brood tuis gebak word...

Ek verlang na die eenvoudige in hierdie elektroniese, tegnologiese wêreld waarin ek myself vind.

Ek verlang, verlang na die eenvoudige, dis al.

Die Kaap mis jou

2011-02-09T15:38:00.000+02:00

Die Kaap het met my gepraat gisteraand in my slaap.
Sy sê sy mis jou! Mis jou lis vir die lewe, jou vis eet, omgee en sagte hart. Jou mag niks mors gees.

Sy glo jy sal eendag weer terug kom...
Haar weer terg met jou glimlag, jou sprank en slim opmerke!
Jou waardeuring vir wat mooi en opreg is.
Jou nederige siel weer laat rus...

My Gordyn

2010-09-27T10:22:00.000+02:00

Daar is n vrou in die vou van my gordyn
Ek wonder wat's haar geskiedenis, ek wonder wat maak sy daar.

Daar is n baba in die vou van my gordyn
Hy lag nie en hy huil nie, hy is net daar.

Daar is n vou in die vou van my gordyn
Eindlose stories, gebeurtenisse, gedagtes...alles wat ek sien terwyl ek daar na staar.

update

2010-09-27T10:13:00.000+02:00

So I haven't written anything in a while, not sure what to put down on paper, needing inspiration. I don't see myself as a poet, I just like writing what I feel, see and experience. Sometimes my writing doesn't make sense, oh but the way I feel when I do it means the world to me.

It was yesterday that I wrote something silly as I was staring at the curtain (My Gordyn) that I realised what writing does for me.

It makes me feel ALIVE! It releases something within me, like a drug. It sets me free of things that bother me and makes me feel so free.

So write I will, doesn't matter how stupid it may sound!

2010-09-07T12:08:00.000+02:00

Love this song (Drumming) by Florence And The Machine!

There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an all mighty sound

There's a drumming noise inside my head
that throws me to the ground
I swear that you should hear it
It makes such an all mighty sound

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

I ran to a tower where the church bells chime
I hoped that they would clear my mind
They left a ringing in my ear
But that drum's beating loud and clear

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
and gets louder and louder
it fills my head up and gets louder and louder

I run to the river and dive straight in
I pray that the water will drown out the din
But as the water fills my mouth
it couldn't wash the echoes out
But as the water fills my mouth
it couldn't wash the echoes out

I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole
Till there�s nothing left inside my soul
As empty as that beating drum
But the sound has just begun

As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
and gets louder and louder
it fills my head up and gets louder and louder

There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you're around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an all mighty sound

There's a drumming noise inside my head
That starts when you�re around
I swear that you could hear it
It makes such an all mighty sound

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

Louder than sirens
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
And hotter than hell

As I move my feet towards your body
I can hear this beat it fills my head up
and gets louder and louder
it fills my head up and gets louder and louder

2010-08-23T13:19:00.000+02:00

By loosing you I am getting myself back again...

dood

2010-07-13T16:04:00.000+02:00

Klein dode wat ek dood maak my dooier voel as die dood.

Gentle Spirit (Poem for the dying)

2009-05-18T14:45:00.000+02:00

Oh gentle Spirit of the living God
Lead me into the darkness that brings Your eternal light.
Take me to where Your peace abides, where flowers sing and birds they fly.

Oh gentle Spirit awaken this sleep the world and I am in.
Bring to life all within, and free my spirit into heaven.

Kom deel in my dans (gedig oor dissipelskap)

2009-05-13T16:25:00.002+02:00

Ek dans n dans, sal jy saam my dans?
Ek dans n dans van liefde,
Want liefde was verniet vir my gegee.
Ek dans n dans van vreugde,
Want vreugde bring U Gees aan my.
Ek dans n dans van reinheid,
U bloed het my skoon gewas.
Ek dans n dans van geheelheid,
Want U het genesing tot my gebring.
Ek dans n dans van geleerdheid,
Deur die dae het ek U Woord geleer.
Ek dans n dans van Vryheid,
U het my verlossing gegee.
Ek dans, kom deel in my dans...

?

2009-03-12T15:13:00.001+02:00

I have a calling. I guess I should stop running.

Hearts exchanged

2009-02-24T09:42:00.003+02:00

What is it about loving someone that makes you feel so close?

What is that connection? What causes it to happen? Someone who once was a stranger to you becomes your best friend, your companion, your life partner, the one you just can’t do without. How does all this happen?

Why when that person is far away it feels like they are right there with you. As if you could have a conversation with them at that moment. No matter how hard you try not to think of them, you just can’t manage to do but that! And when they hurt, you hurt with them, and when they happy, you are happy with them. All this is so crazy yet, there is nothing I would rather want than to be in love with you.

The only rational answer I have to this is that we have exchanged hearts.

2009-02-11T15:12:00.006+02:00

He is not ashamed of me, how dare I be ashamed of myself!

New adventure

2009-02-10T10:46:00.001+02:00

So I have moved to Cape Town & I love it! I took a big step but I knew I needed to do it. I’ve craved a change for so long. I have started a new job, a new life. Meeting new people & making new friends. I am learning new things and realize again there is so much to be learned.

I am staying with a lady from church until I find a place of my own. She is so sweet and spoils me. Everyone has been so friendly to me. To an extend I see a different world here, different people than what I’m use to. I’ve met a married lesbian couple, who seem happy & they are lovely people. I am so excited as I have been invited for supper at their house! A colleague of mine is gay and has been with the same partner for 13 yrs. Wow! It blesses me to see this, inspires me to be myself. Now I have friends coming over for coffee tonight that I haven’t seen in a long time. I wonder if they will notice a change in me, I wonder if I will be brave enough to be honest about myself.

This is my 2nd week in my new job and it’s challenging. It feels like everything I have known before has been wiped out. I realized yesterday I definitely need to do more theology studies & read more in order to be well equipped for this. But god knows what He is doing. He always does & always has a plan. I am grateful for that. Grateful that He loves me & cares so much & blesses me way more than what I could ever deserve.
Well, that’s the update of my life for now.

2009-02-03T09:35:00.002+02:00

The hate-filled emptiness gives me a sense of satisfaction I’ve never felt before.
As cold and scary as it should be so soothing it is to me, so appealing, so freeing to this caged soul of mine.
No more pretend, just the raw me
yet I don’t let you see me, you world of selfish fools, of pretenders
just like me…you pretend to be

I am finding myself again

2009-01-14T18:58:00.001+02:00

When did I loose myself? When did I get lost in others ideas of me, of who I am and what I need?
I always said i will never become like that, like them...
I am finding myself again.
I’m finding that I have changed, I am different than before. I have grown, learned, unlearned and relearned that which is needed. I am no longer that little girl, I am no longer wearing your masks. I am no longer following your trend.
I am becoming myself again, not sure who and what that is, but little by little as I live I am getting to know who and what I am.
I’m becoming myself again.

Home

2009-01-12T22:30:00.002+02:00

I am 25 yrs young, not old! I am going to make this my home!
I have a choice and I choose to make this my resting place, my santuary, my adventure, my future and it will become my past.
I am going to call this home.
My head has found comfort in a pillow of clouds. Mountains have become the beauty to my eyes. Here I will build, love, live! Here will sleep, eat and fry in the everlasting sun. I will start again with new things, new people and some old. Freedom will be the beat that sets the tone of my new life...
I am going to call this home.

I Crave Your Mouth ~ Pablo Neruda

2008-11-25T10:10:00.005+02:00

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair. Silent, starving I prowl through the streets. Bread does not nourish me, dawn disquiets me, I search the liquid sound of your steps all day. I hunger for your sleek laugh, For your hands the color of the wild grain, I hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails, I want to eat your skin like a whole almond. I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your loveliness, The nose, sovereign of your arrogant face, I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes, And I walk hungry, smelling the twilight Looking for you, for your hot heart, Like a puma in the barren wilderness

See me

2008-11-24T16:20:00.002+02:00

You see me, but what do you see
You only see what I show you,
The empty masks I reveal to you.

You see me, but you only see what you want to see,
What you want to believe, you only see what makes you feel good.

You see me, but your seeing isn’t truth, so then what do you see really?

You see me…
But you don’t

Klank

2008-11-24T15:50:00.000+02:00

Klank ve klank slaan dit binne my
Stilte bring erkening, eer
Maar stil kani ve lank binne my,
Want klank wil dit maak diep in my

Klank om uiting te gee,
Te prys, te loof…klank,klank,
Klank slaan dit oor & oor
Heen & weer…
Klank van liefde, klank van lewe
Lewe weer!

Jy maak my lewendig,
Soos dromme slaan dit diep binne my siel
Ek kan dit nie ontken nie
Kan U nie ontken nie
Nie weerstaan nie
Ek probeer maar dit werk nie

My lewe is in Jou,
My vrede, my asemhaling…
Alles kom van Jou, is in Jou &
Is oor Jou

Klank diep binne my tot die lied van Jou plan speel!

Ek is...

2008-10-28T14:45:00.000+02:00

Ek is gatvol, ek is aleen, ek is pragtig mar tog 'n draak van wraak. Ek isi wat jy wil he ek mut wesi, ek isi joune ni.
Ek is wat ek is en sali conform tot jou styl nie. Sali lat jy my in jo boksi plaas nie. Ek is wat ek is, en ek is...EK!

My Life

2008-10-15T09:26:00.000+02:00

I'm not running...I'm living!

Die Gogga

2008-09-15T15:35:00.000+02:00

Die gogga so oulik, so mooi
Die gogga het ve my getooi
Dit het ontskuldig begin
Hierdi wonderlike, aaklige ding

k moes beter geweet het,
k was tog gewarsku
Maar my ore toe, my oë geklap, my hart oop & in jo mag…
Swȇrwend aanskou ek jo, vetroetel jo
Raak aan jo,praat met jo
Die gogga word my gogga
My beste maat
1 of 2 keer jy liggies gebyt,
Maar x oortuig dit gan verby
‘n gogga se tande mut mos getoets word
Gogga belowe my, diti wee gebeuri

X so dom, so lif ve jo
Aan alles wat j sȇ gan k vas klou

Toe kom ‘n dag, ‘n dag so rou
Dat k ni mee my gogga kan vetrou
Die byt is harder as hard
& my hart oop gekou

K moes weet ‘n gogga kan k ni vetrou

Grawe

2008-05-26T15:56:00.000+02:00

Grawe jou gat, grawe jou gat
Diep, diep, diep
Grawe jou gat, grawe jou gat
Jy word net meer morbiet…

Klim uit, klim uit, klim uit
Jy magi daarin wesi
Klim uit, klim uit, klim uit
Hier kom die depresie reusi

Priester roep ons, dokter
Vat die pilletjie gou,
Maar selfs die ma van die baba kan dit nie meer hou
Roep hom gou, roep hom gou, roep net iemand nou!

Ons dryf die bose tot die bosse
En almal word nou benoud
Hier staan die armsalige siel nog steeds so koud

Dood is ek, dood is jy, dood kan my nie kry
Huil die trane wat nie nat raki,
Die trane wat nie daal

Pasop, pasop hier staan ek nou poeter naakend kaal…

…en in die duister staan ek en grawe...

Untitled

2008-04-29T10:48:00.000+02:00

Stadig maar seker ontrek ek, stadig word ek minder, word ek weg.
Moet ek bang word of bly?
Is dit n stap nader aan my Vryheid of dieper in my hok, oh my donker hok;
Of is dit die hok wat vryheid bring?

Donker vir jou, maar lig vir my, lig vir jou maar donker vir my.

Wat is Vryheid in elkgeval? Wat is die kwalifikasie om dit te bekom? En wanneer jy vry is, is dit nie net n gedagte en nie realiteit nie?
Wat is realiteit? Maak ons dit op? Glo ons wat ons wil glo? Glo ons wat ander vir ons se? Volg ons nie maar net mense soos zombies, sonder lewe, sonder opinie?

Wat is die waarheid? En sal ons dit herken wanneer ons dit sien, hoor, voel? Hoe kan ons ander oordeel? Wie is ons om ander te kritiseer? Wanneer ons self nie perfek is nie, niemand is perfek nie. Maar ons doen, ons oordeel en glo ons self. Plaas ander in n hokkie, want eintlik is ons self daarin, maar my hokkie heti n spiel nie. Ek kani sien ek is in n hok, ek kani die slot sieni, net die geklang van die sleutels in my drome hoor, Ai my drome…

Ek hardloop

2008-04-21T17:11:00.000+02:00

Ek hardloop,
Disi altyd leka nie, mar ek hardloop,
Sonder einde
Soms is die pad duister, soms lig

Ek hardloop

Ek hardloop weg van jou, weg van my
Ek hardloop sodat ek die wind deur my hare voel gly…
En vir n oomblik is ek vry

Ek hardloop…

Vreeslose dag

2008-03-31T15:34:00.001+02:00

Wanneer daar stilte is weet niemand niks. Dis dat die stilte sal breek wat ek vrees. Wat jy binne hou sal niemand weet. En een dag, op n gelukkige dag mag jy dalk dit wat binne is vergeet.
Wat n vreugdevolle dag, sal daai dag tog wees.

Wanneer jy kan lag sonder om binne te huil. Wanneer jy kan huil sonder om binne te lag. Dat dinge is wat dit regtig is, en dinge kan wees wat dit regtig wil wees.
Wat n vreugdevolle dag wat ek nie hoef te vrees nie. Nie hoef te vrees vir wat binne of buite aangang nie. Nie hoef te vrees vir geweld of vir vrede. Nie hoef te vrees vir jou of vir myself nie. n Vreeslose dag is die vreugdevolste dag.

To God

2008-03-28T11:15:00.000+02:00

My Love travels across oceans and through storms to get to me.
He journeys on an endless river, He does not get tired or weary, for He knows I wait for Him.
The strength of His body is pushed beyond limits, but He continues to endure. He knows His love waits with gladness.
He takes no rest and no food, He sacrifices, for He hears His love in the distance whispering His name.

Patiently she waits, her eyes fixed on the appearance of Him. Her heart she prepares as it yearns to meet Him, but with peace she is content to keep watch, to burn her light, for His journey might lead Him to end at night. To confess His undying love to her.

They will meet to never separate.

Jesus (the name of Jesus)

2008-03-25T16:14:00.000+02:00

A name so sweet, so tender on my lips.
A name so powerful, so loud in my soul.
A name so gentle, like a cool breeze through my hair.

It’s the name of Jesus.

So awesome like the taking away of my breath.
A name that when it’s uttered the earth shakes, the wind rush, the waves crash, and babies…they sleep a gentle sleep.
A name that consumes my very being,
yet a name that makes me dance, sing, shout with laughter.

A name that will forever stay on my lips with passion and awe…

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.