Gentle Spirit (Poem for the dying)

Oh gentle Spirit of the living God
Lead me into the darkness that brings Your eternal light.
Take me to where Your peace abides, where flowers sing and birds they fly.

Oh gentle Spirit awaken this sleep the world and I am in.
Bring to life all within, and free my spirit into heaven.

Kom deel in my dans (gedig oor dissipelskap)

Ek dans n dans, sal jy saam my dans?
Ek dans n dans van liefde,
Want liefde was verniet vir my gegee.
Ek dans n dans van vreugde,
Want vreugde bring U Gees aan my.
Ek dans n dans van reinheid,
U bloed het my skoon gewas.
Ek dans n dans van geheelheid,
Want U het genesing tot my gebring.
Ek dans n dans van geleerdheid,
Deur die dae het ek U Woord geleer.
Ek dans n dans van Vryheid,
U het my verlossing gegee.
Ek dans, kom deel in my dans...

?

I have a calling. I guess I should stop running.

Hearts exchanged

What is it about loving someone that makes you feel so close?

What is that connection? What causes it to happen? Someone who once was a stranger to you becomes your best friend, your companion, your life partner, the one you just can’t do without. How does all this happen?

Why when that person is far away it feels like they are right there with you. As if you could have a conversation with them at that moment. No matter how hard you try not to think of them, you just can’t manage to do but that! And when they hurt, you hurt with them, and when they happy, you are happy with them. All this is so crazy yet, there is nothing I would rather want than to be in love with you.

The only rational answer I have to this is that we have exchanged hearts.

He is not ashamed of me, how dare I be ashamed of myself!

New adventure

So I have moved to Cape Town & I love it! I took a big step but I knew I needed to do it. I’ve craved a change for so long. I have started a new job, a new life. Meeting new people & making new friends. I am learning new things and realize again there is so much to be learned.

I am staying with a lady from church until I find a place of my own. She is so sweet and spoils me. Everyone has been so friendly to me. To an extend I see a different world here, different people than what I’m use to. I’ve met a married lesbian couple, who seem happy & they are lovely people. I am so excited as I have been invited for supper at their house! A colleague of mine is gay and has been with the same partner for 13 yrs. Wow! It blesses me to see this, inspires me to be myself. Now I have friends coming over for coffee tonight that I haven’t seen in a long time. I wonder if they will notice a change in me, I wonder if I will be brave enough to be honest about myself.

This is my 2nd week in my new job and it’s challenging. It feels like everything I have known before has been wiped out. I realized yesterday I definitely need to do more theology studies & read more in order to be well equipped for this. But god knows what He is doing. He always does & always has a plan. I am grateful for that. Grateful that He loves me & cares so much & blesses me way more than what I could ever deserve.
Well, that’s the update of my life for now.

The hate-filled emptiness gives me a sense of satisfaction I’ve never felt before.
As cold and scary as it should be so soothing it is to me, so appealing, so freeing to this caged soul of mine.
No more pretend, just the raw me
yet I don’t let you see me, you world of selfish fools, of pretenders
just like me…you pretend to be

I am finding myself again

When did I loose myself? When did I get lost in others ideas of me, of who I am and what I need?
I always said i will never become like that, like them...
I am finding myself again.
I’m finding that I have changed, I am different than before. I have grown, learned, unlearned and relearned that which is needed. I am no longer that little girl, I am no longer wearing your masks. I am no longer following your trend.
I am becoming myself again, not sure who and what that is, but little by little as I live I am getting to know who and what I am.
I’m becoming myself again.

Home

I am 25 yrs young, not old! I am going to make this my home!
I have a choice and I choose to make this my resting place, my santuary, my adventure, my future and it will become my past.
I am going to call this home.
My head has found comfort in a pillow of clouds. Mountains have become the beauty to my eyes. Here I will build, love, live! Here will sleep, eat and fry in the everlasting sun. I will start again with new things, new people and some old. Freedom will be the beat that sets the tone of my new life...
I am going to call this home.